5 Common Wedding Planning Fights and How to Conquer Each

The stakes are high and emotions are highly charged. There are a lot of things you need to do for your wedding, so you want it to be perfect. Now you have personalities to add to the stress. Perhaps your fiance doesn’t take wedding planning seriously enough, or perhaps your future in-law is too involved. Or maybe you have a beef with your mother.

No matter what your situation, you can take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. Two relationship experts shared their tips on how to deal with five common pre-wedding day arguments.

Clashing with Mom over Traditions

These seemingly insignificant details can quickly explode into a volcano-sized argument, regardless of whether you are arguing about a veil or not, which flowers to pick, or whether certain religious traditions should be included.

Dr. Kate Kaplan, a clinical psychologist, says that weddings can bring out complex dynamics between mother-daughter relationships and years of expectations and baggage. These moments can be used as a point for connection by brides. Ask your mother about her wedding planning experiences. It is common for her to have an impact on how you interact with her.

MEET THE EXPERT

  • Dr. Kate Kaplan, a clinical psychologist, specializes in complex family dynamics.
  • Christine Agro, a life coach, has over 20 years of experience.

Dr. Kaplan states that this will give you an opportunity to gain empathy for your mom. It’s all about compromise. Try to include a tradition that is particularly meaningful to your mother and then make it a point to start new traditions.

Budgets and money

Dr. Kaplan states, “Supercharged topics for brides in therapy are how much money is being spend (and what), who pays for the bills and what budgets they have.”

It is important to meet with your soon-to be spouse and any other contributors of funds. You can create a budget together and decide which expenditures are more important. You will see fewer arguments later if you have more to discuss.

She adds that “You might not agree on the things you should spend your money on so there may be some compromise.” “For example, I knew that the backdrop was stunning and we didn’t need to spend as much money on flowers for my wedding, but we both agreed that the food should be spectacular so we put our money towards our food budget.”

It’s important that parents and other family members discuss their involvement in financial decisions. Although it is not always true, it is best to assume that generous gifts carry some degree of decision leverage.

Everyone Keeps Trying To Plan Your Day For You

It can be frustrating to have family and friends who don’t have a dollar in the game trying to influence your wedding day decisions.

Remember that this is your day and your partner’s. Christine Agro, a life coach, says it is important to allow important people to feel a part of it but not control it. If you are dealing with individuals, if they drive you insane or make your day less than perfect, it is important to take a deep breath, let them go, and then reflect. It’s not your responsibility to judge their behavior, but it can help you understand why they behave the way they do.

You might think they are just excited about you. Or that they have their own wedding plans and want to help you avoid making the same mistakes. To avoid major problems, be honest and direct. However, it’s possible to look at their point of view and then offer yours. It is important to remember that this is your day and that you want to personalize it with things you love.

Your In-Laws are driving you crazy

Family dynamics can be complicated. Everyone has different rules, traditions, and boundaries. This can lead to a lot of confusion when planning a wedding. Sometimes, jealousy, resentment and “not good enough” feelings can be involved.

Dr. Kaplan says that in-laws can cause couples to fight. Often, a mother-in-law is too involved and makes a bride feel uncomfortable. One example is a bride whose mother in law chose a white gown for her to wear to the wedding. The bride felt trapped between two worlds. How do I respectfully address my mother-in law if I say something? Or should I just let my partner have the conversation?

She advises taking a deep breath, to remember that you are creating a new family with your partner. However, it is important to respect the existing dynamics and ways they communicate. Agro also suggests that now is the right time to establish healthy boundaries and manage expectations.

“Lead with your heart. Agro suggests that you create a time and space for your mother-in law to talk with her rather than trying to address this when it’s already frustrating or annoying. It doesn’t matter if it’s “I’ve longed for this day all my life, and there are certain things that I want to do myself,” or “I appreciate what you are doing, but it would be really helpful if you took care this.” “The rest is something I want to do.

This advice is great for anyone feeling anxious about the wedding planning process.

Bae and you aren’t seeing eye to eye

Fights between you and your partner during wedding planning are almost inevitable, regardless of whether they seem less invested or more invested than you think.

Dr. Kaplan says that weddings are “the ultimate gauntlet for communication for couples.” It’s a training ground to learn how to handle disagreements and uncomfortable conversations.

This is important to remember: A great team doesn’t have to agree on everything. Dr. Kaplan advises to slow down and not jump to conclusions. Then, in a relaxed environment, talk with your partner about what you are and aren’t ready to let go.

Dr. Kaplan suggests that perhaps they can relax about having an indoor wedding and embrace the idea of a beach-style wedding. You can also include people they do not need to be on the guest list. Healthy compromise is key to ensuring that everyone is in the same boat.

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